


Furthest Thing

by misseshermionemalfoy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:49:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9927599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misseshermionemalfoy/pseuds/misseshermionemalfoy
Summary: When Clary Fray's best friend comes back from his second tour in Afghanistan will things be the same?“Hey, are you ok?” Jace asks, in the way only he can. Absolutely sincere, and in a tone that tells me any answer is ok.“No, not really. When did it happen?”“September.”





	1. Not all of me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just putting this out there to see if you guys like it! Leave a comment or kudos and hopefully another chapter will be up soon!

He said he looked different in his letters to me and I wondered if this meant that he’d lost weight since I’d last seen him. I mentally chide myself for thinking that it could mean anything but this. It hardly matters though. I clear the steam that has gathered on the mirror in the bathroom. The hot shower felt good to ease my anxiety. I wonder how he must be feeling, probably just landing at the airport. I think of him being greeted by Stephen and Celine. They haven’t been much in the way of parents to him when I think about it, no, it was Luke who had a man to man about joining the army with Jace. It was my mother who cried when he left. Stephen and Celine were good people! Don’t get me wrong about that but I wished they could have been more there for Jace than being flighty and flying off to London every other week at a moment's notice. 

 

Through it all they’d promised him they’d be there to welcome him and give him a hero’s welcome.  _ He was a hero _ . I think to myself. After everything he told me about in his letters, and I’m sure there was more he wasn’t ready to tell me yet, he deserved it. 

 

Which is why I’m surprised when my phone starts to ring a few minutes after his flight was supposed to land, I don’t recognize the number but, hoping it’s Jace I pick up. 

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Hey. They didn’t show.” Jace’s voice is gruff on the other end and I can feel his heart sinking. How awful it must be to not even want to give your own son, a veteran of two tours of Iraq and Afghanistan, a proper welcome home.   

 

“I’m so sorry. I’ll be there with mom to pick you up in fifteen minutes ok?” 

 

“Thanks, and Clary?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“When you see me I don’t want you to freak out.” 

 

I gave a short laugh, devoid of humor. I hoped I wasn’t going to find him a complete mess. “Alright. I missed hearing your voice. I’ll see you soon.” I didn’t want to hang up but I was going to have to drive because mom was 7 months pregnant with my little sister. 

 

I threw my clothes on and plaited my hair messily. “Mom! Jace is home and his parents didn’t pick him up!” 

 

“What?!” My very pregnant mother says from downstairs. “Seriously?” 

 

“Seriously. I have to go get him. Do you want to come with me?” 

 

“Let me call Luke and we can throw together a kind of impromptu surprise party! I think your brother is just across town at the bar.” 

 

“Ok, well shoot me a text and let me know if I need to stall.” I pick up the keys from the bowl by the front door and pull on a pea coat, it’s nearly the middle of December and it’s  _ freezing _ . 

 

“Bye mom!” I shout as my mother begins texting her husband, Luke to come home and Jon to come home from the bar so they can surprise him. 

 

The drive to the airport, JFK Airport actually, is kind of miserable. There’s traffic and I wouldn’t mind but I feel so bad Jace is there alone. Probably waiting outside in the snow for me or something. I don’t know who to blame, Stephen or Celine. Celine was a homebody but did as her her husband asked her to. Stephen was the jetset one. I suppose I blame him and as I pull into the airport I curse his name. 

 

I park somewhere unobtrusive and somewhere they won’t hit me with  _ a ton _ of fines. This means I have to leave the car to find Jace however. My maroon Toyota Prius is fairly inconspicuous and besides, it was my twenty-first birthday present from this summer so Jace hasn’t seen it yet. As I look around the people waiting for rides outside the terminal (where he said he’d be) I’m worried I won’t recognize him. I don’t see anyone that looks like him… and just as I’m about to call him back I spot him waving to me… from a wheelchair. 

 

“Jace!” My best friend, for nearly our whole lives is looking at me like he doesn’t want to be pitied and I for one can’t wipe the shock off my face. 

 

“Jace!” I run to him, and bent down, scooping his thin frame into my arms. “It’s so good to have you back.” He hugs me back, holding me tight for a few long moments. 

 

As I pull back I can see clearly that he’s missing a leg. I tell myself it doesn’t matter, that he’s still  _ my  _ Jace and that nothing will tear him from me. “ **You didn’t get all of me back** .” Jace says remorsefully and I know I’m going to cry. 


	2. 20 Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary and Jace adjust

 

I make it to the car after managing to hold it together for a pretty cry. With a bit of help, I get him in the car. He’s so much thinner than I remember him and I’m sure there’s an explanation behind it. Jace is ( was?? ) a sniper in the special forces. If it hadn’t been for  _ this _ he would have been a career military man. 

 

The drive home seems to take about three years. “Is there anything you need? Are you staying next door at Celine and Stephens? Do you know where they are?” I feel bad for playing twenty questions with him but I know next to nothing and I need to be filled in somehow. 

 

“They texted me a few minutes before you showed up and apologized but they’re in Singapore right now. I know your mom’s pregnant but I can’t really be alone right now. I hate imposing on you like this…” 

 

I swatted his arm. “Mom will be ecstatic that you’re home,” I remember that mom was going to throw him a surprise party and shoot her a text saying that it won’t be necessary. I don’t tell her why because she’s going to be shocked enough when she sees him but, I sigh. I’m overwhelmed with sadness. 

 

“Hey, are you ok?” Jace asks, in the way only he can. Absolutely sincere, and in a tone that tells me any answer is ok. 

 

“No, not really. When did it happen?” 

 

“September.” 

 

I nodded, I’d wondered what had happened then. “Will you be getting… you know a bionic leg?” 

 

He rolls his eyes at me. “You  _ would  _ say that, wouldn’t you? Yeah, I am. I’ve got to wait until it finishes healing, though. It got infected at the hospital in Germany so it’s going to be a little while longer. Could we stop at the pharmacy? I have to pick up crutches.” 

 

“Yeah sure,” I say, changing lanes and heading toward the pharmacy. 

 

“Have you told Alec? You know he’s not going to take it well.” I say, thinking of his other best friend’s reaction. For Alec being his other best friend, I didn’t get along with him all that well. He always came off pretty frosty to me. Still, even if I don’t like him it doesn’t mean I’m not concerned for Jace’s sake. 

 

Jace groans, “No I haven’t. How exactly am I supposed to do it? Just call him up or something?” 

 

“You could invite him over to our house and talk to him. You’re going to be staying with us right? I don’t want you alone just yet. I think mom is probably already making up the guest bedroom.” 

 

“Clare-bear! I should stay at my house but I understand. You don’t have to twist my arm too hard.” He said giving me a small smile. It was the first time I’d seen him smiling since I picked him up. 

 

“Ok good. Mom’s dying to see you and I think Jon is secretly pining to see you as well.” I say smiling back at him. They are thick as thieves and even though Jon’s never done a hard day’s work in his life somehow he and Jace get along well. 

 

“Jon is such a fuckboi. How do you tolerate him? Not saying I don’t love’em! It’s just that if I have to hear Drake at concert volume one more time I’m gonna remove his nuts.” 

 

I make a face at him. “Can we leave my brother’s nuts out of this?” 

 

“Turn here.” He says, pointing at the upcoming intersection. Right on the corner, there’s a huge CVS*.

 

I turn in and ask, “Do you want me to run in for you?” I know he’s going to refuse. He hates people waiting on him but I’ll get him to let me help him if I can. 

 

“Nah, I’ve got to get meds too, they’re controlled substances so I have to give them my ID. Could you…” 

 

“Help you? Of course.” Here we are working like a well-oiled machine. I swear I know what he needs before he can even ask for it. 

 

I pull into a parking spot and park the car. His wheelchair is in my tiny trunk. It barely fit but I can get it out on my own. “How can I help you get from the car to the wheelchair?” 

 

“I’ve got it, just get the thing outta the trunk and I’ll pop right into it.” He didn’t look like he’d be popping  _ anywhere _ but I nod and pull the thing out of the trunk and wheel it over to him. He slides into it with relative ease and I’m impressed. 

 

“Do you want me to push you or you wanna push yourself?” I don’t want to damage his delicate masculine ego by doing everything for him. He’s taking me helping him surprisingly well, but maybe it’s that he knows he doesn’t have any choice in the matter. 

 

“ _ I know you can’t push me _ .” He says with a tone that implies there’s more to the situation than just pushing my best friend into the pharmacy. That’s something I hadn’t thought of. He might be thin but Jace has always been more muscle and bone than anything else and he must know my 95-pound self can’t push him. This makes me think that I haven’t told him that I’ve relapsed on my eating disorder since he was gone. It’s not bad yet, and I’ve been hiding it but if there’s anyone I can tell it’s him. 

 

He wheels himself through the snow and squeaks into the pharmacy. He gets his crutches and the biggest bottle of meds I’ve ever seen. When he’s rolling himself back out to the car I ask him, “You want to run to McDonald's? I know you haven’t eaten yet or if you had it was plane food which is gross.” 

 

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’m actually starving.” He knows I don’t eat McDonald's often and when I do I usually engage in eating disordered behaviors. I think he suspects something’s wrong. I’ve definitely lost weight since the last time I saw him. He looks at me like he’s about to ask whether I’m alright or something equally as unnecessary. It’s one of those times where he’s not actually talking about the meaning of the conversation. It irritates me that he can’t just come out and say that he’s wondering if I’m alright. It’s almost like he asked to go to McDonald’s on purpose, like a test. 

 

“It’s not a big deal! I’ve just been feeling a little down since you’ve been gone and you know it’s the only way I feel... “ Happy? Good? No, that wasn’t true because I felt so guilty when I did it but it did give me some kind of control. I sigh. “I’m sorry.” This all comes out of my mouth in quick succession. Anyone but Jace would have no idea what I was on about but he knows, and he knows it’s a big deal even I say it’s not. 

 

“I’m glad you told me. You know your secret is safe with me but you should at least tell Luke or your brother.” He slides back into his seat and winces and holds his knee where the stub is. “You know how fast it gets out of control.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” I say, folding up the wheelchair and stuffing it in my trunk. I climb into the driver’s side and turn the heat on full blast. 

 

We roll down the road on our way to McDonalds and silence frosts over the car. I don’t know what to ask, what to say to him. As we pull into McDonald's he digs into his pocket for his wallet and I pat his head. “If you think you’re paying you’re out of mind.” 

 

“I haven’t paid for anything in ages!” He protests. 

 

“That’s because you’ve been fighting a war, Jace,” I say flatly. “Do you want your usual?” 

 

He sighs. “Yes.” 

 

I roll down the window and ask for two orders of Chicken McNuggets with buffalo sauce and two root beers. I’m going to have to do like a hundred sit ups to burn this off. I pay for our food and take from the poor soul working the second window. She gives me a nasty look when I take the bag from her. 

 

I park in the parking lot. Jace seems to be half way through his fries already. “You don’t have to inhale it you know. It’s not moving.” 

 

“Sorry.” he says through a mouth full of french fry. 

 

Even before I open the bag I’m thinking of how I’m going to resist eating all ten chicken nuggets. I tell myself if I eat three he’ll be pissed I’m not eating and if I eat five I’m going to blow up like a whale so four seems reasonable. 

 

He’s quiet and it’s kind of bothering me. “Do you need to stop anywhere else before we stop home?”

 

“Nah, how far along is Jocelyn?” He wonders in between bites. 

 

“Seven months. She’s huge.” 

 

“Damn ok. It’s a girl right?” 

 

“Yep. A bouncing baby girl. Luke is ecstatic and Jon is constantly bitching a moaning about how he doesn’t need another woman in his life.” 

 

“That’s definitely all his fault. It’s not your mom’s fault that Jonathan is the biggest fuckboi in Brooklyn.” 

 

“I caught him out with a chick a couple nights ago. I was out with Izzy and we got drinks. It so awkward.” 

 

“How  _ is _ Izzy?” 

 

“She’s good, she’s banging Simon regularly.” There’s a mix of irritation and delight in my voice. I’m happy she’s found a steady boyfriend but the fact that it’s Simon always irritates me. 

 

Jace discards his garbage in the bag and gives me a stern look. I’ve eaten a grand total of two chicken nuggets and five fries. “I will fucking hand feed you if I have to.” He snaps at me. I can tell he’s in a no bullshit mood so I stuff half a chicken nugget in my mouth and chew. It doesn’t taste very good. I make it half way through chicken nugget number four before I feel sick. 

 

“I really don’t want to eat anymore,” I grumble.

 

“Give me the chicken nuggets.” He says 

 

I hand them over to him, thinking he’s going to eat them for me. He kisses my cheek and pats my head and then starts making airplane noises and says, “Open for Jace little girl.” 

 

I pout mercilessly.  _ He wasn’t kidding _ . 

  
I manage to make it through chicken nugget number seven and Jace seems to be satisfied. I’ve eaten about a quarter of the fries. I feel disgusting but Jace is smiling which, is all that really matters right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * CVS is a chain pharmacy store in the USA


	3. Cuddle Tax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace collects his cuddle tax from Clary. Jon gets drunk at the bar. Jocelyn tells her daughter to get a move on.

We arrive home and I wrestle his wheelchair out of my backseat. Jon’s Honda Civic is here and Luke’s car is in the drive as well. Jace gets into the chair and he starts wheeling himself into the house. “Did you tell your parents about my leg?” 

 

“No, I didn’t think you’d want me to.” 

 

“Good thinkin.’” 

 

I push open the door and hold it for Jace. Jon is the first to greet us. He and Jace do their secret handshake and I shake my head. Jon leans down and hugs Jace. “I’m glad you’re home.” 

 

My mother bustles into the room and smiles kindly at the three of us. “Jace, sweetie.” She doesn’t flinch at his leg but I know she’s upset. 

 

“I would give you a hug but alas I’m the size of a beached whale” My mother says, grinning at Jace. 

 

“You look great Jocelyn don’t kid yourself,” Jace says charitably to my mother. 

 

“Thanks, baby. Did you guys eat?” 

 

“Yeah, we had food,” Jace confirms. 

 

Luke steps into the room and makes for Jace, shaking his hand and clapping him on the back. “We’re glad to have you home.” 

 

Jace seems happy but he’s also looking pretty tired. “Jace do you want to lay down for a bit?” I ask him. 

 

He looks guilty as if I’ve seen through the mask he’s put on. “Uh, yeah Clary that would be great. I didn’t get time to tell you but there was turbulence on the plane.” 

 

“I figured,” I say, smiling at him. God, I still feel disgusting from eating all that McDonald’s. “There’s the question of the stairs. The guest bedroom is on the second floor.” 

 

“I can probably limp up there if Jon gives me a hand.” 

 

“No problem buddy,” Jon says. He looks like he’s been drinking, though, he doesn’t look drunk. 

 

“Could you get the crutches from the car Clary?” Jace asks me. 

 

“Yeah of course. Should I grab that bottle of meds too?” 

 

“Yes please,” Jace says kindly. 

 

I put my shoes back on and wander out to the car, letting my family welcome Jace to our home. I’m so glad he’s back. I find the bottle of pills in the front seat of the car and read the label, it says they’re oxycodone. Damn, I’m pretty sure that’s a really strong painkiller. I go and wrestle the crutches out of my tiny backseat. 

 

“Jace?” I say as I walk back in the house. Jon has made him a cup of coffee and mom and Luke are chatting animatedly with him.

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Ready to try the stairs?” I ask him gently. 

 

“Yeah, let’s give it a go.” He says. Jace wheels over to the base of the stairs and Jon hefts him up onto one leg. He wobbles a bit but Jon has got him solid. I hand the crutches over and after a bit of wobbling and a couple of almost tumbles Jace is hobbling up the stairs with Jon behind him just in case. 

 

When they get to the top of the stairs, Jace is a little green with pain, or at least I think it’s pain. I come up behind them and mom shouts up to me, “The sheets on the guest bed just need to be put on. Could you do that Clary?” 

 

“Sure mom,” I shout down to her. 

 

Jon pats my shoulder on his way back down, giving me a knowing look. I think he feels bad for me or bad for Jace I don’t know which. I make a mental note to pull Jon aside before he goes back out and tell him I’ve relapsed on my eating disorder. 

 

I start making my bed while Jace pops one of the pain pills. “Are you alright?” I ask him. We’re alone now and I want to hug him and hold him to me. 

 

“I’m not used to the crutches yet. My balance isn’t great.” He says as he wobbles around the room. 

 

I’ve almost got the bottom sheet tucked in and I look at the time on the bedside clock. It’s 8:28 pm. 

 

“Are you going to call it an early night?” 

 

“Not  _ this _ early. I might go to bed in a few hours. I think I have a book in my suitcase.” 

 

“Could we cuddle?” I ask him. 

 

“Oh I suppose. You’ll just have to be careful of my stump.” He says with a grin. “You always want to cuddle it’s cute.” 

 

“It’s my adorable nature, Herondale.” 

 

“Mhmm.” He says looking at some magazines my brother had left in the room. 

 

A couple minutes later the bed is all set up with the white duvet and four fluffy pillows. I crash down on the bed splaying out like a rag doll. “C’mon Herondale. I want to collect on my cuddle tax.” 

 

“So that’s how I’m paying for my room and board here, huh? How many times a day do I need to cuddle you so I can stay?” He says playfully. 

 

“Oh, three or four,” I say with a smirk. 

 

“That seems reasonable.” He says smirking back at me. 

 

He wobbles and flops painfully onto the bed. “Ow, damn it.” 

 

“You alright?” I say from across the bed. 

 

“Fine,” he says, sighing heavily. He pulls both his legs onto the bed and sneaks his arms around my shoulders. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come home in one piece.” Whoa, I think to myself, way to go from funny from serious in a few seconds flat. I look over and meet his gaze. He seems to be in quite a bit of pain and I don’t know what I can do to help him. 

 

“Do you want some ice or something?” I ask, trying to be helpful. 

 

“I just apologized for not coming home in one piece and you’re asking me if I want some ice?” He scoffs. 

 

“Sorry, you just look like you’re in pain.” 

 

“I know but I want you to know that I didn’t mean to lose my leg.” 

 

“Of course you didn’t! You’re still Jace without it. You’re still my best friend!” 

 

“About that ---” Jace started but Jon knocked on the door. 

 

“He guys I’m heading back out to the bar figured I’d say goodnight to you both. I won’t be back tonight I don’t think.” 

 

“Getting lucky tonight buddy?” Jace asks lewdly. 

 

“Always, bro.” They did their handshake again and I rolled my eyes. 

 

“Jon can I talk to you before you go?” I ask him. “Close the door.” 

 

He looks at me quizzically but shuts the door and folds his arms over his chest none the less. “What is it?” He asks me. 

 

“Well… I may have relapsed… on my eating disorder?” I say trying not to put too fine a point on it. 

 

“Clary… how long has this been going on?” Jon asks softly. 

 

“About three months?” I realize belatedly that Jace is holding my hand, giving me strength and I’m thankful. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell someone sooner? Let me guess, Jace brought it up on the way home and you spilled?” I flush, because of course that’s exactly what happened. 

 

“I just thought I could handle it,” I say, disappointment in myself ringing in my own ears. 

 

“Well, you can’t baby girl. How much do you weigh?” Jon asks nervously, I know he’s dreading the answer. 

 

“I’m not telling!” I snap at him. “You’ll just judge me for it and think I’m fat!” 

 

Jace and Jon share incredulous looks. “Honey no one in this room is going to judge you for shit,” Jace says and I’m not sure I can believe him. 

 

“Ninety-one pounds.” I say slowly, hoping I don’t freak anyone out or make me sound like a fat ass. 

 

Jon sighs and Jace squeezes my hand. “Tomorrow I’m coming over and we’re getting you some real food. Let me guess you’ve been living on lettuce and lite italian dressing?” 

 

I nod guiltily. 

 

“I hate to ask Jace to do anything right now but could you make sure she isn’t up all night doing situps and pushups?” 

 

“Clary will stay with me tonight.” Jace says resolutely, his tone is grim as fuck and I feel like a scolded child. At another time i would be happy to stay with Jace but this feels like a punishment. 

 

“Alright kids, have a good night and Clary?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Thanks for telling me.” Jon says as he opens the door and waves goodbye to us. 

 

I sigh,  _ fuck _ . Maybe I shouldn’t have told anyone? Still, it’s probably good I’ve told  _ someone _ just because I don’t want it to get as out of control as it had been last summer. I got down to 85 pounds and my hair fell out. It was awful. Jace groans next to me and I’m pulled out of my thoughts. 

 

He’s massaging his stump and looking like he’s just had a tooth pulled. “Are you sure you’re ok?” I ask him. 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He groans. 

 

I pout at him, he doesn’t look fine and it’s grating on my nerves. “Do you think I’m a fat ass?” I say, looking for validation. 

 

“No! Christ, Clary,” He’s massaging his stump and I have no idea if I should offer to help? The thought grosses me out tremendously but what am I supposed to do? “You’re--- beautiful. You could actually stand to gain a couple pounds. I like it when ----” But he cuts himself off sharply. “Nevermind. You look great and I want you to be healthy above everything else.” 

 

I hadn’t been expecting such a heartfelt answer. He takes me by surprise, as always. “Uhm, thanks.” I shyly. He steals one of my pillows and props himself up in bed a bit higher. 

 

“Can I collect on my cuddles now? I’m going to end up reading so just for a few minutes.” 

 

“Ok,” I say. 

  
  


An hour later has me downstairs looking for some tea. Jace had been so exhausted he’d fallen asleep with me in his arms. It had been kind of cute. Somedays I wonder if he and I are really best friends. Not that he’s not my friend, but more because I know I love him and it isn’t a strictly platonic love. I don’t care if he’s missing a leg and down on his luck, he’s gorgeous and smart and kind and funny. Izzy has been talking about making a move on Jace for  _ ages _ now and I just think that I’d never forgive myself if he chose her over me. 

 

My mother is sitting at the table, reading a pregnancy magazine. God, even though she’s gained a lot of weight and she’s carrying an actual human inside of her there’s a kind of grace in the way she moves that makes me a hare jealous. I have all the grace of a newly born fawn, my balance is horrendous and I’m constantly bumping into things. 

 

“Hey mom?” I ask. 

 

She looks up from her magazine and gives me a glowing smile. “Yes, Clarissa?” 

 

“Is there any oolong tea left?” 

 

“No, your brother finished it this morning.” 

 

I pout. “Did Jon go back to the bar?” 

 

“Yep.” My mother puts down her magazine and pats the chair next to her. “I want to talk to you.” 

 

“Ok…” I say with trepidation. Did Jon tell her about the relapse on my eating disorder? I sit down next to her and wait on tenterhooks for her to say  _ something _ . 

 

She takes a deep breath and tucks her thick red hair behind her ears. “I think you’re not being honest with yourself about Jace. I know the loss of his leg is something that’s going to affect your relationship with him. Clarissa, do you have feelings for him?” 

 

I flush. This isn’t the speech I was expecting. “Of course I do, mom. But he’s my best friend it would be so weird to tell him that.” 

 

She looked at me pensively. “I think he feels the same way about you. I actually think he’s always thought that way about you. You’re both holding back. And right now he needs someone to help him. He needs someone who believes in him. I’m not pushing you to anything but if you  _ do _ have feelings for him now would be a good time to tell him.” 

 

I thought about that for a minute. Tonight, he’d said I was beautiful and it sounded like he was going to say more than that but he’d cut himself off… “Izzy wants to date Jace. I don’t want to steal him out from underneath Izzy.” 

 

“Talk to Izzy. I don’t think she’s going to want to care for him the way you want to care for him. Maybe get his permission to talk to Izzy about it. Of course, you shouldn’t tell her if he’s not comfortable but I think Izzy is looking for more, no strings attached kind of things. Jace has got a lot of… strings?” 

 

“Mhmm.” I nod my head. My phone buzzes and I check it. 

 

[ incoming text: Brother Dear ] Come get me. I’m drunk. 

 

“Can we talk more about this later? Jonathan is drunk at the bar again.” 

 

My mother rolls her eyes. “Your brother needs to lay off the liquor and women. The next time he brings back some tramp to this house I’m going to be pissed.” 

 

I laugh. “You mean the next time you  _ catch him _ sneaking a girl in.” 

 

Jocelyn rolls her eyes at me. “Ok, go get your brother before he attempts to drive himself home.”

 

I sigh and dash out of the room, put my shoes on and grab my keys and my bag. I get in the Prius and drive down the road a mile. It’s really close enough to walk but Jonathan is probably too wasted. I pull up to the bar, it’s only just ten at night and he’s outside smoking talking to a cute blonde girl. 

 

“Aye!” I call out from the passenger side window. “Jonathan get in!” He doesn’t look that drunk. He walks to the car and says goodbye to the blonde. “Hey, sis.” He half slurs in my ear. He smells like whiskey and cheap perfume. 

 

“God, Jon, why do you always have pick up the literal skankiest girls?” 

 

“That’s not something I’m about to discuss with my little sister.” 

 

“How many drinks did you have?” I ask as I pull away from the bar’s parking lot. 

 

“Four... maybe five whiskeys.” 

 

“Damn, Jon.” 

 

“So what about you and Jace?” He says wiggling his eyebrows at me. 

 

“Jon!” I say, slapping his knee. “Stop it! He’s my friend!” 

 

“Pshht.” Jon scoffs. “You two are practically married. I might as well start calling him my brother in law.” 

 

“Ugh, god I hate it when you’re drunk,” I growl at him. “I hope you get a horrible hangover.” 

 

“I don’t get hangovers.” He says as I pull my Prius into our drive and put it in park. 

 

“You’re a very talkative drunk Jon.” 

 

“I do try.” He says smirking at me. 

 

“Be quiet, Jace is sleeping.” 

 

He replies in a whisper, “Ok, sis.”

* * *

  
  


I go back upstairs to check on Jace and find him wide awake and… sniffling? 

 

“Hey what’s wrong?” I say worriedly. 

 

“I had a nightmare.” He says continuing to sniffle. “Where did you go?” 

 

“I went to get Jon from the bar.” I say moving into the room and sitting down on the bed. “Are you ok?” 

 

“Not really.” And I know in that moment he’s incredibly vulnerable and I want to show respect to how open he’s being with me. 

 

“What can I do? You didn’t take one of your pills yet. I bet your stump hurts.” I take the bottle off the nightstand, read the instructions and open it, taking one of the pills out of the container. It breaks my heart to see him like this. “Here hold onto that and I’ll get you some water.” I run next door to the bathroom and fill up a paper cup with cold water. I come back and hand it to him. “Can I do anything? Do you want to talk?” 

 

He swallows the pill in one go. He leans back against the pillows and I can see tears streaming down his cheeks. “Could you just lay here with me?” 

 

“Of course.” 


End file.
